Pooch Lakeridge: How can there be such terrible commercials in the world? Have y'all seen the one for Barrilla pasta plus? Here is the synopsis:
Andrea Bocelli-esque music plays (I think he is singing about pasta - gag)
A lady drives up to a beautiful Italian villa. Children come running to her as she gets out of the car as well as a similar looking woman (her sister perhaps?). They hug. Over by a tree is a handsome Eyetalian fella.
Spinster sister with hungry eyes: Who's that?
Sister with children (not sure if she's married or what): He's our neighbor. The children love him.
They exchange a knowing glance.
Cut to the kitchen.
Spinster sister with hungry eyes takes out a box of barrilla pasta plus (which the voiceover is telling us is chock full of vitabiscuits or something) while the other sister is cooking something. She looks at the box for a long, lingering moment.
Spinster sister with hungry eyes: You're a really good mom.
Cut to the dinner table
Spinster sister with hungry eyes: That meal was perfect.
Eyetalian fella (with great meaning): Perfecto.
Fin
WTF??? The "You're a really good mom" line is what makes me a little insane, but the whole story with the sisters and the dude. I don't know what the balls is going on there. I think you see the one lady's husband at the beginning, and it seems like maybe they are trying to set up the Eyetalian fella with the sister, but still. There's a lot going on there that makes it seem like there is going to be a three way.
Bruno Curvy: Have you guys seen the Barilla Pasta ad? It's, like, totally seconds away from breaking into full-on anal by the end.
Hot blonde visiting her sister's family in Italian countryside (I guess). The sister is no slouch either if you knowhatimsayinandithinkyoudo.
Handsome Italian dude off to the side... I think, raking leaves? (what the?)
Hot Blonde: Whooooo's that?
Camera pans down to big, curvy bonerbulge in handsome dude's pants.
Cut to: Cooking in kitchen, kids charmingly underfoot.
Hot Blond (to sister): You're such a good mom!
Cut to: Eating at the dinner table.
Everyone: Fuckin' shitbitch, this is good in my mouth.
Cut to: tight shot of handsome Italian dude. His gaze is undeniable.
Handsome Italian Dude: I am wanting to make sex with you six ways from the Sunday.
Cut to: Product shot with a moneyshot dripping down the side.
Rita Muldoon: UM HOLY FUCK. Is this a joke or did you not see Pooch's IDENTICAL post
in the "What I'm Loathing" thread? The synergy of The Mojito Situation is kind of
fucking frightening.
Bruno Curvy: Holy snaps. We totally said the same damnass thing. What is the dilly-o with that?
Pooch Lakeridge: I think the only explanation is these lyrics to Rod Stewart's classic "You're in My Heart"(I'm not sure if that's the actual title)
"You're in my heart, you're in my soul
You'll be my breath should I grow old
You are my lover, you're my best friend
You're in my soul"
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