Rita Muldoon: Hey, WhoreClucks!
WHAT THE FUCK?
Brian Knapsack: Those guys are very muscular and well-groomed. I bet any lady would be glad to date them.
Alistair Kestral: Bears? Most of those guys are gym boys with beards! Has the term "bear" become so vague that these guys can claim it? NOT ON MY WATCH!
Mildred Darling: Or mine! Or Dave Hill's!
Rita Muldoon: I completely agree. This is an outrage. All the pool scenes show well-groomed chests and backs. And they're dressed like an 80's James Spader vacationing on Nantucket.
This is a complete misrepresentation.
WhoreClucks: These guys are sort of representative of the "musclebear" contingent, which is where the "twinks" grow beards and sort of move into bear territory. It is kind of funny that they're all smooth-skinned.
I am more offended by the fact that their song is a horrible medley, and that their dancing is terrible.
Oh, you know who is a good person to ask? My friend's boyfriend, Tortoise (who is on my rugby team)... because Tortoise originally had the idea for a bear band called "Bear Supply" and believes that this group is a pale, pale rendition of his Platonic ideal of such a thing.
Pooch Lakeridge: When my improv group went to Austin two years ago we were walking down the street and passed this guy talking on his cell phone. Here was the conversation we overheard:
Dude on cellphone: I know. Well, the thing that was scary was that the minute I got there I was attacked by bears.
I knew what bears were in the non-Yogi sense, but still the construction of his sentence caused me confusion for a good thirty seconds. I was looking at him for signs of mauling. And then I remembered.
Every time I think of that I laugh out loud.
Rita Muldoon: Did you check his anus?
Pooch Lakeridge: No, but from the way he was talking I imagine it had evidence of quite a mauling.
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